Sunday, 13 January 2008

so what is this all about then ... ?

It is a place for me foremost. I am not making a big deal about publicising but have told a few friends. If word spreads as they and others find it interesting then so be it - if not then that is fine too.

I hope that writing down my thoughts will be a discipline that will help me formulate and understand them better and also some of the feelings that lie behind them.

It is ultimately about the issue of "a kind Dom". Can there be such a thing or is it a contradiction in terms? For me it is essential but for others it may seem a nonsense.

There are many subs who write about some of the issues and contradictions in being a submissive in contemporary society. I have found few Doms who do so - and would be interested in links if others know of this. I fear that instead of taking on board such issues most Doms are merely happy to accept the benefits.

So there may be things I say that readers may find critical at times. I am not setting out with that intention but if people take my words as criticism of their relationship with someone closest to them I am sorry. I am also aware that people will tell me that I don't understand, that I am naive, that I am not a Dom, that the issues I raise are of no consequence - and much more. But I suppose if I put my head above the parapet I have to be prepared if people start to throw things at me.

I actually welcome comment - especially that which takes my remarks seriously.


Anonymous said...

Dear Sir,

It appears perhaps that you are willing to be open about the very thing that many Doms would fear to admit: Feelings for their sub.

How on earth could a "Dom" ever come out and be loving and kind and "soft" to his sub and still be a Dom?

The thing is, that is what many subs want. I know you well enough to say that I have seen that hard Dom streak - but I have also seen that wonderful "nice guy" side of you, too. Is it really such a dichotomy to be both?

Not to this sub!

Respectfully & with love,

Pygar said...

Thank you again dear A not just for your respectful posture but for your thoughtful comments. You have given me an idea for a new post!

Unless a Dom is a total sadist and his sub a complete masochist then surely there need to be feelings. Why should those be always hidden. I would have imagined a sub would be able to accept far greater control and punishment from her Dom if she knew he truly cared for her.

Is not knowledge of such care and love necessary to provide the trust to allow total submission?

In any case - "kissing it better" can be such fun!


Anonymous said...

Criticism? Just you try it and you'll get such a smack that you won't be able to sit down for a week, young Pygar! Tsk!

Livvy xxx (puffing out her cheeks to look big and mean and Dommy)

Pygar said...

You look lovely (if slightly silly with your puffed out cheeks) when you try to look "Dommy" dear Livvy!


Anonymous said...

There were two unkind Doms in my life.. one a husband to a 20 year old girl.. the other to the older me.. and both were cruel with such intelligence that i found it hard to argue with either one of them. I lost every argument and tears were often on my face.

Now there is a Dom.. who is FUN , who enjoys me and who i am and what i love. He embraces my longings and wishes to fulfill all my desires.
There are tears still on my face.. of joy and gladness and wonder.

How lucky i am.

Pygar said...

Thank you "anonymous".

I am so pleased that you have found a Dom who makes it "fun". Shouldn't it be "fun" for both Dom and sub?

How sad though that you had to endure such unfulfilling cruelty from your previous two Doms.


Gone said...

A dom/sub relationship is a relationship. And in any good relationship there needs to be trust and respect, on both sides. And what good relationship, even a serious Ds one to the point of slavery, isn't fun? An ideal relationship, even a d/s one, should be fun sometimes, unless both people involved are completely emotionless people, neither of whom like enjoying anything ever.

I got a little sidetracked there on the "fun" issue. The other one is a caring Dom who can show emotion. I think that would definitely be the best one. I really believe that a good dom, even in a hardcore master-slave relationship, should care about the wellbeing (both physical and emotional/mental) of their sub. Sure, the job of the sub is to serve the dom, but shouldn't good behaviour be rewarded just as bad behaviour is punished?

I love being spanked and hurt and thrown around and pushed down... but it is the care, the little stroke of the hair or cheek, amongst all the violence, that really shows I am cared for and lets me feel safe in the eye of the storm.

I could write for forever about this and still not get the right words going. I hope you get the general gist of it :)


Pygar said...

Thanks odoriko

I hope you will say even more.

Your comment was really interesting - and I agree with you so much that it should be "fun".

Thank you.