Thursday, 15 May 2008

More about trust

A sub friend of mine met up with a new Dom recently. He seemed to understand her, things went well, he was respectful of her and seemed not to make assumptions or press too hard at first . . .

But on their first morning after the night before a little thing got in the way. It was so small. It was only a display of affection rejected hurtfully. Both were stubborn and did not back down.

He knew that subs are supposed to back down I suppose.

But she didn't.

There was an email exchange to try to resolve it. In it he demanded her trust.

He instructed her to trust him.

Otherwise how could he be her Master?

He was right that he could not be her Master without there being trust. Trust is central to such relationships. Where I believe he was wrong was in believing that he could just demand it.

Real trust has to be earned over a long period. You cannot just demand that someone trust you and for that trust to be real rather than a pretence.

She could no longer trust him.

So she is sensibly now getting to know a different Master.

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