Monday, 14 July 2008

Being strong ...

It is a strength to ask for help.


Anonymous said...

Yes it does, it does take bravery and admiration -when i was in school teachers would say don't be afraid to ask questions and, yet, i felt embarrassed asking a question - Gee but I was dumb!


Suzanne -thanks for the great blog, I just found it and I enjoy reading it.

Pygar said...

I'm pleased you are enjoying the blog Suzanne. Thank you.

Why is it so hard to ask for help I wonder? And why do so many see it as a weakness? I was working as a consultant once to people in charge of organisations. I used to impress on them this point. The best got it. It was the ones who were insecure and had a facade of invincibility and control who could not seek help. The truly strong and powerful ones just saw asking for help as a tool along the way. Their confidence allowed this without them seeing it as a weakness.

We often are frightened to ask questions or seek help - your school example is really good. There as pupils we were afraid of our peers passing scorn at our ignorance. But so often in meetings when someone asks for clarification because they do not understand something - the rest of the meeting breathes a sigh of relief as they didn't understand either but were frightened to ask.

I wonder how many Doms may carry on blithely afraid to ask for help, perhaps especially from their sub, when things are going wrong.


Anonymous said...

You both hit the point, Suzanne and pygar.

The two ends, feeling strong and invincible versus always feeling embarrassed and a bit of a bore are the most likely to fall into the trap of not seeking for help. It is somehow linked to the willingness of looking back and analysing one's mistakes. Those who are ready to admit having erred are able to do it better in the future. It is readiness to "open up ones files" for someone else to look into and to take in the refreshing advice. (Keep away from quackery!)

Isn't that what the subbies are supposed to do and are doing all the time? Why should the Dom get a free ride?

pygar: thanks for your blog!

Best regards
Sari S.

Pygar said...

Thank you for your wise thoughts Sari S.

I'm pleased you like the blog.


Hislavenderminx said...

i am realizing, after waiting so long for my Master to make me His, that i am not nearly as strong as i had imagined myself to be.

Thank You, kind Dom, for Your wisdom and thought-provoking entries.

Pygar said...

If you are not feeling strong Hislavenderminx - then do ask him for help. Communicate and explain. That way you will gain strength and grow together.