Monday, 23 August 2010


Ok - I don't understand it properly. I'm a man and a Dom. I've not experienced it.

Trying to intellectualise it I guess there are different components. One may be almost chemical. The endorphins flooding the body during a session suddenly taken away at the end of it - perhaps causing a withdrawal affect like coming off drugs. Another perhaps emotional. That closeness, trust, use, care, physical contact also withdrawn. A physical reaction too. The body responding to punishment - trying to shut down unessential functions to concentrate on recovery and also to cope with pain. Perhaps also a psychological response. The contradiction between loving care and the administration of pain. How does the mind respond to such contradictions in trying to come to terms with them?

But I've never experienced it. I've never seen it as it happens. I've had it described to me - as if I do understand it.

But I don't.

So ...

... okay subs. Have I got it right? How is it for you?


Carlie said...

I have never really tried to figure out why it happens - it just does and it is always different. I think it is more the emotional side that it is connected to than the physical, though it is not unlike coming down off a party drug (so I have heard) so I am sure part of it is chemical.

Usually about three days after an intense session for me I feel like I am falling through the floor and that I can't hold on. I need desperately to be in contact with Sir and if I am then I cope pretty well. It is like an angst-ridden panic that I am not okay - totally irrational and I know even in the moment that it is irrational and I hate knowing it.

In my everyday life I am not like that so it is hard for me to reach out to Sir and ask. I usually stew and sulk and get angry and go be around vanilla friends so I have to act 'normal' until I can't stand it anymore and then I call (usually when I am at the point of not feeling like I can function enough to have a cup of tea and conversation).

I am sure Sir can see it coming sometimes and he will have me band my nipples or something and then I have a 'dip' but not a 'drop'. The pain (under his direction) seems to calm me and hold me afloat - keep us connected. That I can be in contact with Sir and it melts away is why I believe it to be more emotional.

Strangely though I kind of like going through it because it is one more way I feel out of my own control and under his, that he cares for me and protects me, that it is safe for me to drop because I know he will catch me.

Not sure what my husband thinks though! I do need to be physically close but the only person who makes the ground sure for me is Sir.

Jz said...

I've only had the one brush with it, and even that was more properly a combination of sub-drop and girl-drop. (as a friend put it)
So I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer this. But I rarely let that stop me, so here goes... ;-)

It felt more like a thick fog surrounding me, slowing me slightly, muffling and numbing me. It was not like any depression I've ever had but it was VERY much like a hormonal imbalance I underwent for several months (before discovering the joys of black cohosh.) So, I have to agree with JaT that there is certainly a chemical component to it.

Generally, however, I don't drop, I just sport a shit-eating grin afterward.

I sometimes wonder if spending more time within the dynamic would increase my occurrence of sub-drop or if things would remain mostly even-keeled.
(a moot point at the moment, but a thought for the future...)

nilla said...

Welcome back Sir! i've missed your voice in the blogosphere...and was pleasantly surprised to find you've returned!

Just a Taste has is correct. about 3 days after my last time with Sir...blammo...i'm an emotional wreck. a bit teary, and verrah verrah needy of Him.

He must have known. He was very "there" for me, texting me naughty little things all day.

Each one made me feel owned, cared about.



aisha said...

For me, today, three days after intense play, after a week of teasing and little games that led up to it - it was a drop. Falling off. Cut off. Out of touch with myself and the things that usually energize me and make me feel good.

It makes me want Sir so badly, need to talk to him, absolutely ache to hear his voice, and I hate feeling that way. Hate feeling needy. So I won't ask.

I blogged about it this time though, and he texted me and e-mailed me and was there for me today, and that helped soooo much.

Pygar said...

Thank you very much Just a Taste, Jz, nilla and aisha for your very personal takes on this. It is good of you all to be so open.

Thank you again for contributing to our understanding.


Pygar said...

Doms may also find this article interesting and helpful if subdrop occurs straight after a scene.

It refers mostly to physical reactions but emotional and psychological reactions can be equally important and may be a delayed response.

I believe Doms have a responsibility for after care of their sub in all these areas.

Unknown said...

Now,i have never experienced a sub-drop, but it is in fact a major part of that is chemical, i would even say that it is to 100% - the emotional effect is _because_ of the hormonal disturbance. Just like PMS and such makes one emotional, it is not the emotions themselves that are the PMS, it is the hormonal imbalance.
And yes, from what I have understood of it, getting emotional support is what gets you through it, and also physical things. Chocolate, I have heard is very effective. It not only helps bloodsugar levels to raise, it also releases endorphins, which is the cause of the drop to begin with. I think that knowing your Dom is there for you emotionally is what makes it easier though, to get validated that your feelings are in fact genuine and not something "silly" that should be disregarded. It's just like any other time one feels emotionally imbalanced, the one thing that tends to work best is reassurance and a feeling of connection.

Just my two cents (that hopefully for once didn't turn into a larger pot of cash ;) )