Tuesday, 1 February 2011


I mentioned in my earlier post about mentoring that I was also thinking about "protection". I had been discussing this with blossom. She has written a post about it here.

There has been some discussion about it in the comments. I tend to agree with Dauntless Vitality in his comment here that it is most often seen on social networking sites. Sometimes a sub will even describe herself as "under Protection" as a way of avoiding too much unwanted and unsolicited mail from Doms.

Alice in her comment speculated on whether another sub could be a protector. I can imagine some scenarios where this would work but blossom was more dubious. I wonder what other readers feel about that?

By coincidence I had an email the other day from a sub who had recently been 'placed "Under Protection" '. With her agreement I have published it on Uncle Agony here. I feel her protector was overstepping the mark - I would be interested to know there whether others agree. However his description of the role of a protector seems very good.

So - what does protection in this sense mean to you? Is it something completely different? Is there a place for this in D/s?


David said...

I have primarily seen the protection applied in two areas; in real life and online.

IRL where a submissive is attending munches and play parties, she might seek or receive the protection of one dominant who watches over her behavior, provides guidance on what is what, and functions as a sounding board for her interests and choices. She may also refer dominants who are interested in her to the protector to get his perspective.

Online, the protection is a matter of having a dominant to defer to, much in the way a submissive would refer interested parties to her master, in this case she filters them through her protector. Depending on the depth of connection, she might also share emails and other queries with him for his opinion.

In both cases I think the dominant acts as a kind of preliminary mentor, providing perspective and insight, and asking the kinds of questions that will help the submissive reach better thought out decisions.

In neither case do these protectors step across a line into dominanting the submissive, certainly not without invitation.
I think all roles have a wide spectrum and the fetlife/online world often tries to over define the shades of gray. It is not unlikely that a protector might morph into something more personal, but it would be with full openness and agreement.

Pygar said...

David - thank you very much.

Your comment seems to me to be a very full, carefully thought out discussion of the role of a protector.

I think if any were considering such a relationship then this would provide admirable guidance.

As you say there is a danger of protectors stepping across the line into dominance. It is perhaps important that each is aware of that in advance and that any change in role needs to be clearly thought though, discussed and developed though agreement.

Thank you very much for your helpful contribution.

- Pygar

Mike Smith said...

Very nice Blod