Tuesday, 7 February 2012

more brattishness

I recently wrote a post here about brats. It gained a number of interesting comments from different perspectives. So thank you to Sky, Janeway, nancy, jennie bear, Anonymous, doug's fuck toy, Naga-bot and Mistress L for taking the time to write in response. I was away for a while and did not have time to join in with the responses so I'll add just a little more here.

There were few who wished to be regarded as "brats". Like Janesway I too am old enough to remember when it was accompanied by the word "spoled". In that situation it does rather give the impression of someone acting the princess and perhaps deserving a hard spanking! I guess that is why some do it. They are perhaps trying to goad their Master into giving them the spanking. For me in that context it just doesn't fit with the kind of relationship I would want to create. I would sooner encourage my sub to plead nicely for a spanking if she desired it so much. if she pleaded prettily enough then how could I refuse?

As nancy wrote "Bratty just doesn't seem a submissive trait." A couple of comments even suggest it shows a lack of submission and even trust.

In fact Doug's fuck toy describes how when being bratty in the earlier stage of their relationship it was her "cute" way of showing she hadn't yet developed that natural trust. In time though they have got through that.

Mistress L like me felt that it could be seen as topping from the bottom and would head in the opposite direction!

I suppose though we should not take it all too seriously. As Naga-bot writes, "When I brat, it's because I'm in a playful mood and I want my Daddy to also feel that way, too. "

Yes - it is important to have fun!


Vulnerable said...

My Master keeps saying that I should always know that my place is at His feet..and while at His feet, when I know my place - then I am free to brat as much as I feel like.:) Yes, it can be perceived by others as topping form the bottom, but what matters is what my Master thinks about it, not others. And He loves the brat in me.

Sephani Paige said...

As my Master tells me, my brat keeps Him on His toes - it reminds Him to not get lazy and as long as I never go over the line of acceptable, we both have fun with it. I trust Him implicitly and don't think bratting means you don't trust - in fact I would argue the opposite. I tend to be very demure and shy around tops I don't know well, even those I play with. But with Master? I trust Him enough to be myself, joke around in scene and let my inner brat come out to amuse Him.

Even in punishment there can be humor. One time as He was tying me up to be punished, He asked me "And what are you?" and my natural response was "Fucked???" lol. while some people might think that inappropriate - at that moment I knew it was okay. We've known each other over 15 years so I know when its okay to brat and when its not.

nbs said...

It is important to have fun..absolutely.

I have fun with Sir often .. but still being bratty just isn't my nature.
Teasing or silly or something else.. different things for different people~ all make the world go around.

Pygar said...

Thanks klaudia and Sephanie Paige for describing to us how brattishness can be fun!

But also to nancy who reminds us that one does not need to be bratty to still make it fun!

P xx

princessnoshoes said...

There is a certain thin line in our relationship between joking and teasing and bratting. And believe you me, if I forget where that line lives I will be quickly reminded. It doesn't matter so much if others think that it's bratting, but that He doesn't, and He likes my sense of humor and personality. As far as actual bratting goes, I'm more likely to do it in times of stress, when I'm afraid or anxious. An ill timed joke or something. It's almost like a way to psyche myself up, instead of just trusting in Him to keep me safe. It's something I do to relieve stress in EVERY aspect of my life, not just this one and that we are working on. It's not acceptable and I'm not proud of it, but it's not necesarily on purpose.

kitten for Sir said...

i too have a bratty kitten within me...i call her, "Gato de diabla" and while i know my place, i feel so free to be myself at all times, i sometimes forget my place with Him, but SirW is merciful and has no reservations about putting me back in my place when He sees fit.

kitten {SirW}

Anonymous said...

Interesting conversation. It never occurred to me that brattiness would be a negative quality in a sub. I often have described myself that way. What does brat mean to you? Is it disrespectful behavior? I would never be disrespectful of anybody in any circumstance, so if that is what it means I should stop using it.

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Katastrophe said...

I am new to D/s, but the man I intend to play around with has been in many relationsips prior to me. He rather liked when I was a bit bratty and I him. We both tend to be switches, but we have both also established we dont have to "play" every time we meet, so maybe that makes a difference as we are more on equal terms instead of one person just being submissive and the other dominant?

All-around I agree with nancy that to each their own. I enjoy acting a little bratty as it adds a little sillyness into the picture. I can also get time to act like the 18 year old that I am and get my man to have some fun, too. On the other hand, if a Dom/Domme finds it to be dissrespectful, then that needs to be respected.

Pygar said...

Thanks Katastrophe for your interesting contribution. yes - I guess switching will have an impact on this and the fact that there is a strong vanilla side to your relationship as well.

I think it is good to have times of silliness! It is good not to always take everything so seriously.

Have fun.

P xx