Thursday, 8 February 2018

keeping up

It's been a bit difficult keeping up at the moment but there was a really interesting comment on the Humiliation post I referred to in my last post here.

It was by northierthanthou and you can read his full comment here. My response was here.

In brief he was, I think, looking at the motives of 'humiliation' from both sides and came up with the notion of "making someone feel badly about themselves."  That was something we both felt at least uncomfortable about. I liked his thought about whether it was ok when he asked the question "Is the submissive individual actually humiliated or are they still strong and proud after all?"

A proper post will follow soon - but I would be genuinely interested in any further thoughts on this topic.


Bleue D'âme said...

Is the intention of the scene/play for the submissive individual to feel "humiliated" consensually of course? And how do you define that?
In our dynamic, my Owner has no intention of breaking me. There were many times that I felt strong and proud after this type of play *and* felt actually humiliated.
I once wrote my thoughts about different types of humiliation play here, if you're interested.

Pygar said...

Thasnk you very much Bleue D'âme for your interesting thoughts and for the link.

I do recommend readers interested in this topic to read Bleue D'âme's post on this. She writes that,
"For me, nothing highlights the manifestation of our entire dynamic more than humiliation play.
It truly is my kink.
And I'm in for the full spectrum: Humiliation, Degradation and Objectification."

"Out of all the glorious and wonderful activities we engage in, humiliation play is the one that makes my mind completely mush, leaves my body quivering and soaking wet. It is an extreme state of being controlled."

I do urge anyone who would like to better understand the dynamic of humiliation play to read her full post, Getting Edgy: Thoughts on Humiliation Play, here.

P xx

Jz said...

This is certainly an "everybody to their own thing" question but for me, humiliation is a huge hard limit.
SP is a fan and he's tried to explain how he feels it works but my response is still: just... no.
(And he's actually admitted he could never use it on me anyhow because he knows it would shut me right down.)

The good news for me is that BG is also not a fan of humiliation.
What he is a fan of, however, is enhanced vulnerability, much as ntt appears to be. The interstingthing about vulnerability is that it's much more benign than humiliation, yet can keep a sub on tenterhooks for far, far longer. (And that is where you all like us, no?)

Ntt (sorry, I'm an abbreviator) said that the use of humiliation or insults almost seemed like a weakness. I tend to agree, altho' to me it's more like a cheap shot, heavy-handed and an unworthy tool for achieving dominance. To successfully utilize vulnerability, on the other hand, requires a subtle deviousness that, frankly, I like in a dom. :-D

Anyway, that is only one woman's opinion - I'm not trying to rain on anyone else's parade.
It's just not a thing that works for me. (Humiliation, that is. Vulnerability works ever-so well!)

Jz said...

(please mentally correct the spelling on the word "interesting" and add a space - tyvm)

Pygar said...

Thank you Jz. I love your introduction of "vulnerability" into the discussion.

Vulnerability can be very attractive in itself but also when within a situation created by the Dom bring about a delightful frisson.

I feel a new post coming on. I think you are my muse today Jz.


P xxxx

neriche said...

Yay! I was thinking as I read Jz’s post, “hmmmm, what *is* enhanced vulnerability?” I could guess, but would really enjoy a Pygar-style post on this topic.

Pygar said...

It is already in draft neriche. But as always I still have trouble "keeping up"!

I'm just off to respond to all thos interesting comments to other posts that I haven't kept up with...


P xx

Pygar said...

Post on vulnerability now posted here.

P xx