Wednesday, 12 June 2019

hugs and cuddles

I'm very positive about the value of hugs and cuddles and have written about it here before. There are some particularly interesting comments and discussion from visitors to the blog on the posts 'hugs heal' and 'bondage and hugs' - and also on the post 'touch'.

I have been reminded about this recently by a couple of things.

Firstly I came across an announcement by a new member of Fetlife that he was offering cuddles as a paid service. This amused me because many, many years ago as part of some banter on a messageboard I offered the same service as a joke and even set up a simple website. I think it was 'Hubert Hugs Inc' and was all very tongue in cheek. It created a very humorous thread and that was just about the end of it. So I was very interested to see that someone actually seemed to be offering this service for real and wondered if that was a joke too. You can see one of his ads here.

I sent him a message, telling him about Hubert. He wrote back to say that not only was it not a joke but that he was doing well. He wrote,
"I'm actually doing OK. I get about 3 meets a week mainly from instagram unfortunately they deleted my profile. I did have 11k followers. I have regulars but they tend to be once a month. I've limited the area I travel now as well which has had a knock on effect. I'm sure I'll pick up a few more clients on here."

Then a few days ago I saw an article in the Guardian newspaper. You can read it here. It describes services offered by a new company Nordic Cuddle. They offer cuddles with a variety of "cuddle practitioners" from £65 for an hour. They make many claims for the outcomes of such sessions for your general wellbeing and health. The sessions are described as totally platonic with clear boundaries which can be adapted to individuals.

Now when does a hug turn into a cuddle? And when does a cuddle become slightly more than "platonic"? The Guardian writer describes how in his session,
"She holds my hand as we talk. Then we try a standing hug, breathing in unison. She strokes my back. After a while, we move on to the bed. We try a few positions, her head on my chest, then mine on hers. There is full body squeezing, leg entwining, fingertip massage."

Now that seems to be becoming more sensual in nature - stroking, his head on her "chest", squeezing, leg entwining, fingertip massage. When does 'stroking' become 'caressing'? Leg entwining seems to be somewhat more than the platonic hugs that Hubert was offering!

When I was last in Berlin I noticed a cuddle event on Fetlife. It looked interesting. I like the idea of a group cuddle event. This one started with purely platonic cuddling but after a break turned into more sensual cuddling for those who wanted it. I would have liked to have gone but it clashed with other arrangements. It seems to have moved on a bit with the sensual and even kinky side. The next event is on Fetlife here.

There seem to be a number of other cuddle events across the world. For instance I noticed one in Perth, Australia and a commercial firm in Montreal, Canada that has a website here.

So if cuddling parties and firms offering cuddling therapies are advertising on Fetlife - has cuddling now become a fetish?

I hug friends of both sexes. However I am boringly heterosexual and would only feel comfortable having a cuddle with someone of the opposite sex. Does't that make it sexual in some way? Or at least sensual? At any rate something less than platonic. So when these firms such as Nordic Cuddle and Calia claim to be offering purely platonic services can that really be the case? I am not suggesting they are offering additional services. I am just questioning whether a cuddle can always be purely platonic in nature. If so then why are photographs of the professional cuddles shown on both of these websites? Again, I sincerely am not trying to attack either of these companies in any way. In fact I am sure I would enjoy the services they offer and benefit from them. I am sure people do gain benefits from them as I know that hugs and touch are important. I am merely trying to investigate the nature of cuddling. And after all if cuddles really are sensual in nature then where is the harm in that?

In fact I must look up the Berlin one when I am next there which is open about the sensual nature of the cuddling.

Perhaps Hubert gave up with his enterprise too soon. If I had kept with it I might by now have had an international chain of cuddle therapy salons.

Anyone fancy a cuddle?

First session free to all commenters on this blog!


Pygar said...

Writing the post above reminded me of some joking I did with a friend about 'Hubert'. I haven't been in touch for ages so sent her the link thinking she might be amused. Sadly the email bounced back - so if you are out there Jo, send me an email!


P xx

DM said...

This sounds like a fresh version of hell for me!

JK, however I'm not touchy feely with people I do not know, so I find hugging, and more so cuddling, a stranger a sad state of emotional wellbeing. It would highlight for me the lack of an emotional connection with someone who I have a functional relationship with, making the act with a stranger or worse yet, a paid stranger, more depressing, and thus countering any supposed benefits!

(Incidentally, I feel the same way about your masturbation posts as well Pygar)

Unless you are into that as a turn on, then whatever floats your boat, but then that wouldn't be a platonic experience at that point either really.

I have always worked where physical touch is involved on some level with strangers. It's always mentally clinical and professional. If my job is met with enthusiasm and becomes more, it is very disturbing and feels like a violation of my personal space.

Yikes! Hell indeed!

Pygar said...

Thank you DM for taking the time to respond. I do remember that you have said you are not into hugs despite my attempts to persuade you of their benefits.

I had imagined a similar comment from Jz but I am perhaps misjudging her! *ducks*

No, not everyone is "touchy feely". I don't think I am myself but I have become more so as I have recognised the power of touch. Though one must always be careful of that, otherwise as you say, "it is very disturbing and feels like a violation of my personal space".

I think it is a shame though when one does not appreciate a hug or cuddle as they can be so therapeutic. I understand though that where this is not with someone who one is close to then it can become an intrusion. Huggers too need to understand and recognise this.

On a clinical level, I described in a previous post how the touch of a nurse on my shoulder was reassuring during a medical procedure. It was professional and had no other connotation. But for me that feeling of touch was supportive and helpful at the time. I am sure that your touch of others during your work may well also have been appreciated.

A further example of this, without wanting to start a whole new thread, is massage...

You are right though that it must be very disturbing if someone is getting off on your touch when it is in a professional context.

This is about the touch of others, but it is interested that in thinking similarly about masturbation perhaps you have similar feelings about touch of yourself?

I'm so sorry to have given you thoughts of "Hell indeed!"


P xxxx