Monday, 9 March 2009


A previous sub of mine once wrote on her blog that begging was a hard limit. She was a wonderfully obedient sub - whilst in other contexts she can be a very assertive woman. Letting go of that assertiveness enough to be able to beg though was something she could not and had no desire to be able to do.

Recently I have had an email exchange with another sub friend about begging and pleading. She feels it is an attempt to get someone to do something against their inclination - perhaps topping from the bottom. But it is clearly ingrained in her nature too as something she would find very hard to do.

I wonder though if begging could be at the heart of total and complete submission. When one has given up all power then begging is all one has left.

Also begging is seen as a humiliating and demeaning activity. Maybe that is why some subs like it but others hate it.


Unknown said...

It seems to me that if I'm begging, it's because I refuse to accept the "no" that has already been given. Therefore, begging connotes a lack of submission.

I'll be very interested in others views on this....

Vesta said...

As I see it, begging helps the sub to feel submissive and the dom to feel domly. It's a win:win situation, bound to lead to more pleasurable pursuits.

Alice said...

Begging is also very difficult for me. Not due to my submissive nature, but because it is so contrary to my nature in general. My submission is my only motivation to engage in it. Often, it is not my reaction to a no response from him, but it is a direct result of him telling me: "If you want it, beg for it." It can be applied to anything from my needing to climax, to my wanting to suck his cock.

I am not sure if I would classify this as the heart of complete submission, but without my submission to him, it wouldn't occur at all. I do so out of my desire to please him. It is a form of humiliation, which is probably why it evokes such a love/hate response from me.

I do agree with Vesta, it does highlight my surrender and it emphasizes his control over me.

Pygar said...

Thank you Lynlass, Vesta and Alice.

So that sounds like one "no" one "yes" and one "maybe 'no' maybe 'yes'"!

We don't seem to have a consensus yet. Any more offers?

nbs said...

In my {submissive}life, begging is encouraged and expected.

In the begining, I did feel it was a bit like topping from the bottom.

I resisted and refused and fought it for a long time.
Now I can't imagine not begging.
I agree with Vesta.
And I'm curious to see other opinions ~!

CharliB. said...

I use to absolutely HATE begging. I found it humiliating to the extreme and so very hard for me to do.

And so....He started asking me to beg for things that he knew I really did NOT want....such as anything that involved largish amounts of pain. Say he wanted to cane me, something I find very hard and painful to take. I would have to I would start out very shyly and very quietly begging for it and he would say...."louder please, you are not very convincing". It would continue until I was practically shouting it, and you know what? the time he got around to caning me, I was wet wet wet and very very ready to take the very thing that evoked such torment in me.

The combination of the humiliation and begging for something that I have a love/hate relationship with makes me feel very deliciously small and submissive.

It is still not the easiest thing for me to do, but it definitely enhances my feelings of submission and allows me to accept, and learn to embrace, acts I formerly had difficulty embracing.

Tristan said...

I don't mind begging and I never consider it topping from the bottom. I mean, I'd have to obey, wouldn't I, for that to be true?

Begging is just that, begging for something from someone who has it when you don't. It also indicates that the beggar has no control, no way of attainment without the consent of the one with whatever is being begged for

I like it when the pet begs I encourage it.

trinity pup said...

i am torn on this - i find begging to be so humiliating and hard for me at times, but when i do it, it turns me on something bad! SG has been making me beg more before He'll do things to me... and it's certainly a tease!

t. x

Rosie Q said...

Different circumstances are described: being told to beg for what you want, being made to beg for what you don't want, and simply begging as an expression of helplessness, that is, begging from the heart. I wonder if each situation gives a different feeling. I've done the first w/a feeling of submission but not enjoyment, and fantasized about the second, and longed for the first - to be so completely owned that I'm not afraid of asserting myself because I know he will not allow me to take charge.

cutesypah said...

thank Goddess Daddy doesn't make me beg often. I see it as an attempt to control the situation, or topping from the bottom. In many ways, I'm more of a slave mindset than that of a submissive mindset. By this I mean that I do what I'm told (slave), rather than being told what to do (submissive).

Hence, I only beg if I am told to beg.

Yet, Daddy tells me that he wants me to talk more, and ask for more things, rather than waiting to hear what he wants and needs. This is a difficult task for me, as I was to seen and not heard from in past relationships, much like a small child.

And, in that instance, there are times that the the mere asking to have my wants and needs met feels like begging. Daddy knows this, and as such, he pushes me to expand and grow.

so, for me, simply asking for something that I want seems like begging.

most uncomfortable for me.....but every so pleasing to Daddy!