Monday, 13 July 2009


"Pain is the body releasing weakness."

This statement or something similar was displayed in a training area for soldiers undergoing special training. I suppose there are areas other than D/s where pain has to be seen as positive.

A switch friend wrote in her blog,

"... pain is extreme sensation, and is not necessarily bad or best avoided."

I reminded her of this, much to her chagrin, shortly before I started to beat her! We discussed the kinds of situations in which pain might be embraced and even requested.

But pain is in reality the body's way of warning of danger - that one could become or have already become injured. People who do not experience pain are in serious danger of coming to real harm.

But somehow BDSM has reclaimed pain as a positive thing - not necessarily bad or best avoided. An extreme sensation - to be embraced as with erotic sensation. Are these sensations so different? The look on the face of a woman experiencing ecstasy though orgasm is so similar to that when she experiences pain. I wonder if that is part of why I can enjoy inflicting pain whilst being a gentle person in other contexts?

I suppose we all have our own reasons for enjoying giving or receiving pain. Some switches enjoy both! I wonder how much my readers have pondered on their reasons for enjoying giving or receiving pain?


Dragonfly said...

I have found that physical pain brings me into the deepest depths of my emotional pain and when he is loving me in that moment, I am healed. It's cathartic and lovely...

Anonymous said...

Pain is a warning device, sure. It is the body's way of forcing the mind to pay attention to something it percieves as a threat. But like many other bodily functions, it's pretty crude. (Sure, I shouldn't drink water very fast, but is it really useful to hiccup for half an hour afterwards? And yeah, I shouldn't let mosquitos bite me, but now that I have, do we have to go through a 24-hour long histamine reaction, or can I just acknowledge that I fucked up and make the itching stop?)

Against that backdrop, physical pain doesn't seem especially meaningful to me in itself. But it is meaningful in one way. It is perhaps the easiest thing to surrender to my lover. The immobility of bondage is a time-cosuming thing, and humiliation and subjection to rules and disclipline are all very sophisticated, but pain is the primal no-not-that! that I can give her.

And submission, for me, means wanting to give what it is hard to give.

Jz said...

I can't say that I've ever questioned why I enjoy pain. To me, that's a non-issue. But I AM intrigued by how.

You're right that pain may be embraced in different kinds of situations but it seems to me that different types of pain evoke very different reactions, as well.

A good spanking generally just makes me swoon but when he has the belt out, it's 50-50 whether I'm purring or considering how I'd really rather be having root canal right now. When he's abusing my breasts, it may hurt like blue blazes but if he stopped, I'd probably beat him! And being bound sensitizes but doesn't really count as any kind of pain. Maybe because I'm Gumby. (Altho' it's true that I do not enjoy the loss of blood flow but since he has no desire for me to pass out on him, either, that's another moot point.)
So when considered this way, pain seems entirely arbitrary.

I think you defined it best by just calling it an extreme sensation. Sometimes it's exquisite, sometimes not so much so. But like any extreme sensation, it can be addictive.

David said...

There is a difference between doing things for the pure sadistic joy of doing them, and enjoying activities which I know will stimulate and arouse.

Pygar said...

Thank you dear Dragonfy, Orlando, Jz and David for your fascinating comments.

Can I chose a phrase from each that moved me?

Dragonfly, "... when he is loving me in that moment ..."

Orlando, "... submission, for me, means wanting to give what it is hard to give."

Jz, "... like any extreme sensation, it can be addictive."

David, "... enjoying activities which I know will stimulate and arouse."

Now where's my flogger ... ?

(I've actually been imagining spanking my favourite sub all day and it has aroused me!!!!)


Lady Xanax said...

Ah yes, the joys of giving sensual pain.... I think this is the key word here 'sensual'. I can inflict pain as punishment which is normally swift, fully explained and provides the sub with a memory fix on how to avoid it again (if possible).

Sensual pain is a totally different arena. My sub P was doubftful she would find it arousing. She knew I wanted to do it, just the thought of having P over my lap ready for spanking, just makes the adrenalin flow and my brain almost melt.

I introduced her to it slowly. Sure enough, she was pretty aroused after a few minutes. I know what her current limits are and can work within those to prolong it as long as we both want. And both enjoy it in equal measures but in different ways.

As it's only 11 days until P returns to me, I shall be indulging a lot! But we shall both have huge smiles on our faces afterwards...


Lady Xanax

Pygar said...

Thank you Lady Xanax.

I'm not sure I can inflict pain as a punishment ... well not in a serious way.

But sensual pain ...

I am with you all the way. Ah yes!

If only I was meeting with a sub in just 11 days to "indulge"!

Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would love to see your smiles.



Lady Xanax said...


When P & I finally meet, we will have been apart for 8 weeks. Those smiles will be on our faces for a long, long time.....

I will have a sore hand and she will have a very sore bum, but the memories from our reunion will help to sustain us until our next session.


Lady Xanax

Anonymous said...

I find that I need to experience pain. As much as I love experience pleasure at the hands of a Dominant I find that I also need to suffer. Pain brings my ultimate surrender, trust in knowing that He knows my limit. He knows how far to take me. He loves my tears as much as my moans. Its my way of showing him my deep devotion and the depth of my trust. Its a necessary part of my submission. I've found myself begging for the opportunity to feel pain for my Master.

Pygar said...

Thank you Lost Kitten.

This gives a beautiful view into your submission.

"... ultimate surrender ... trust ... my deep devotion ..."


Pygar said...

All this talk of pain and love must have got to me ...

this morning!



selkie said...

Of course for each of us with masochistic tendenciei, the level and manner of pain is completely subjective. For instance, I need to be lead toward it, caressed and encouraged and pushed.

Ultimately, however, I realized a long time ago, pain is a focus, a mantra, a way to achieve a meditative state. When it becomes, simply, all encompassing and every thought is focused on dealing with the sensations, it is incredibly liberating; all the stressors, worries, pain of everyday life that each of us experiences slides away and one can revel simply within the reality of the now.

Proud Maisie said...

I don't enjoy pain. It hurts! I do, however, gain fulfillment in suffering for somebody.

I suffer from depression and stress, and sometimes, I have asked someone to beat me because the endorphines give me a lift. At other times, I have asked due to a rather unhealthy self-loathing type situation. This is why one has to be careful who one asks...

Pygar said...

Thank you selkie for helping us appreciate how pain can be an almost mystical experience for you. I think it also highlights the importance of a loving and trusting relationship with a Dom who knows you so well to help take you to that special place.

And yes, dear Proud Maisie, do be careful who you ask. I think the need for punishment because of self loathing would need a very loving and caring Dom to understand your needs but perhaps also help you develop a more positive self image through your submission. You do not like pain but have discovered like many subs the seductive lure of the endorphin release.

Take good care.