Tuesday, 21 July 2009

variety ...

... is the spice of life they say!

I thought soon after I had started this blog that I had written a post about how I would refer to Doms and subs on here. However I have looked back and can't find it so I'll try to write it now.

I am a male Dom who is attracted to female subs. However I am well aware that there are many situations where the Domme is female and where the the sub is male. Sometimes these may be same sex relationships.

Yes ... I know I am stating the bleeding obvious. However I decided when starting this blog to write in the language of male Dom and female sub. It is because that is my own situation and it avoided having to always write "Dom/Domme", "He/She" and "he/she". That just seemed clumsy and unnecessary. However, I know that I have a number of readers who may be a male sub or a female Domme and who may be in a same sex relationship. My use of language is not intended to show any disrespect to them and those close to them. If any readers do find my use of language problematic I hope they will contact me. I intend that all may feel welcome in this blog.

I hope readers know that I am not making any assumptions about the gender of Doms or subs in what I write here. I am assuming that the issues raised are the same whatever the sex mix of a relationship. But that may be an incorrect assumption - I know I have much to learn. There may be huge differences. In our society it is more traditional and perhaps accepted for the male to be more dominant and the female less so. I wonder if this has implications for relationships where the female is dominant and the male submissive. Can it cause problems in the way they are perceived by others? Is this the same with same sex relationships or is the gay community more accepting of a variety of sexual and relational proclivities?


Anonymous said...

Thanks, Pygar. I would guess that most kinky folks who don't fit the M/f pattern are quite used to reversing pronouns and so forth in their heads. Otherwise there isn't much for us to read.

And yes, the fact that our society assumes M/f couples at an infrakinky level makes for a whole different set of problems in other sorts of relationships. But most of the issues you are writing about are also relevant.

There are some lovely resources out there, including Maybe Maimed and Delilah's Advice and Consent blog.

Lady Xanax's Hussy said...

As my Lady Xanax has mentioned in her blog, we are a F/f couple, despite us both being classed as hetro in vanilla relationships. We found it very difficult to find any other F/f couples when researching the life-style.

I just hope her blog helps other F/f couples realise they are not alone out there. Society would assume us to be seriously kinky or very confused.

I have no problems with reading M/f and converting as so many things you discuss are generic to any couple.

Anonymous said...

i cant speak for others but when i see the D/s or Dom/sub mentioned... i never equate it to mean M/f. I always try to keep it role related. The Dominant (m/f) and the submissive (m/f). I guess thats why i use D/s so much. lol.

Wonderful post Sir!

(lost kitten)

Pygar said...

Thank you Orlando, Lady Xanax's Hussy and drippinglysweet. I do appreciate your kind words.


Anonymous said...

no assumptions made, carry on.