Thursday, 10 April 2014

online ...

How important is the internet to you in relation to D/s and BDSM?

It can be a wonderful place to discover new things and to research areas one wants to know more about. It is a great place too to find out about other's experiences. There is a proliferation of blogs where people are describing their journey's into and through this world.

Would you have got into D/s without the internet? Is your relationship enhanced through knowledge you have gained from the net?


nbs said...

Although I had been introduced to BDSM before the internet, it was only scary and ended badly. Had the man explained some things, who knows?
When the internet did find me, things took off quickly.
Certainly I'd not know as much as I do now and I'd never have met Sir.
Since my community is pretty small I doubt that I'd have ever been brave enough to go out alone, not knowing exactly what would be waiting there.

blossom said...

i wouldnt be where i am now if it wasnt for the internet i have met some wonderful people and made friendships with people in the lifestyle and i certainly would not have met Master if it wasnt for the internet...smiles

hope you are keeping well P... blossom x

Pygar said...

I like the way you say the internet found you rather than the other way round nbs! It is interesting that you highlight that the internet can be a safer place to play at the start rather than in the real world. Many like to tell us that is the other way round too.

Also it has given you knowledge and helped you find a Master. Sounds good!

Thanks nbs.

P xx

Pygar said...

Lovely to hear from you again blossom. I hope all is good for you.

Interestingly you too have met your Master through the internet as well as having made other friendships.

Thanks for contributing.

Take care and good luck

P xx

Unknown said...

omg the internet is fab!

We were already very into experimenting and exploring - rough sex, spanking, light bondage, that sort of thing...

Found lots of fabulous kink and dynamic ideas once the internet was up and running and I started looking!

It's just so helpful to have a whole load of terms to use for a start.

And always exciting to discover that actually you're NOT the only person in the whole world that craves pain, or loves being pinched, or has a thing about being naked while their fella is still fully clothed, whatever.

And blogging is wonderful - of course we all have our own relationships and dynamics and we're all different, nevertheless it's still like having fellow travellers that are on similar paths and can understand and even help and advise when you're struggling to get up a hill or over a hump or out of a bog.

tori said...

The internet gave me information, to realise that these feelings i had were not wierd....that there were others out there like me.

I met my Master online, through a bdsm site so that alone made the internet worthwhile to me.

I do think though there are drawbacks, one has to be careful not to be taken in by everything they read, as much as there is some great information out here on the web, there is also a lot of mis-information.

Blogging in particular, as much as i love it, i do try to emphasise on occassions, especially for those new to ttwd, that come to my blog....that there is no set or right way to go about this, how i do it, how my relationship is, is personal to me and my Master.

Its too easy to fall into a trap, of thinking "i cant be submissive, because im not like that"

it doesnt help either when one comes accross a blog or an article that dictates dominants/submissives should be a certain way, or do certain things.

The internet provides a wealth of information on D/s, bdsm etc but its not a blueprint of how it should be.

sorry, for warbling on.

Unknown said...

oh I completely agree Tori. I come from an information/research background so am used to the discipline of rigorously examining the source and taking everything with liberal handfuls of salt, I sometimes forget that not everyone does and you're right there's a lot of misleading stuff out there.

for me, a 'this way is the only right way' is a huge red light no matter what the subject!

Pygar said...

Thanks mc kitten and tori. Lots of good summing up of positive aspects of the internet in supporting us in BDSM relationships - but also some of the negatives.

Others have mentioned to me too mc kitten how great it is to find others who are similar and realise "you're NOT the only person in the whole world that craves pain, or loves being pinched, or has a thing about being naked while their fella is still fully clothed, whatever." Etc,, etc, etc ... !

I think that was part of my point in my previous post about community. So I am pleased you also find the blogging community supportive. I must say that has been my own experience of blogging and bloggers.

But yes, you are right tori that there is no "right" way to do it and one must guard against misinformation and any who try to dictate or bully.

Please feel to warble as much as you like, tori. I think too that we will all take mc kittne's advice about huge handfulls of salt. In the end we have to make measured judgements having sought as much reliable information as we can.

So, thank you mc kitten and tori for your very thoughtful comments.

P xx

saffy said...

My relationship with my partners previously to MK was always of a BDSM nature, and it was along time before i ever ventured online for any reason, let alone in a community. I treated the people that i met online as real, and with respect, and the trouble was , i think i stumbled across a chat room first which had many people in who were not quite who they said they were. I thought that it would be a safe environment to meet other people , but i learnt quite quickly not everyone was who they said they were and i was very gullible.
Having said this i did meet MK from answering an advert on Informed Consent by writing to Him and so our relationship grew, and we are now married.
Yes the internet has lots of places that you can go to for advice , but as tori has already stated you have to find what fits you.

Pygar said...

Yes saffy. I think that chat sites can often attract players and bullies. They can perhaps be difficult places for the unwary - or even for any without a thick skin.

I too have met friends in Informed Consent which was a popular site. It is a shame that it is no longer there.

I am pleased it worked out well for you.

Thank you for adding these thoughts.

P xx